"In quiet moments when you think about it, you recognize what is critically important in life and what isn't. Be wise and don't let good things crowd out those that are essential."
-Richard G. Scott
With the last day of the year here, we are all thinking about what our answer will be tonight when we get the notorious question, "what is your New Year's resolution?"........
BALANCE
I can tell you the answer right away, but I find it much harder to actually live out every year. Ask my husband, I'm an extremist. All or nothing. I used to view it as a weakness or character flaw to do something "half way". I suppose deep down I still feel that way which is why I struggle with balance in my life.
As I reflect on 2012, this is what I struggled with the most. I struggled emotionally and physically being a full-time working mom. Part of the biggest reason I had a hard time juggling is that I couldn't let go of anything. I still wanted a clean house, misc house projects to get done, social nights with friends, family time, weekends in the mountains, vacations, swimming with Mason....and the list goes on and on. As you can imagine, I ran out of time this summer. I felt bitter and cheated. I love Colorado summers, and I didn't make it to the mountains once. I love working on things around my house, but I ended up just helping Chris with his projects and not having the time do what I wanted to work on. But most of all, I felt like Mason was cheated. There many days this past year that I sent him to daycare knowing that I should be home to cuddle my sick child all day. I did the laundry and cleaned the kitchen when I got home from work instead of just sitting on the floor and playing the whole night.
In looking back, I think I managed pretty well considering we went through a lot, at work and at home, this past year. But by reading my posts, I can tell it was heavy on my heart all year long. Which is why I know with 100% confidence that I made the right choice by taking this part time job. I will start in the middle of January, and I believe it is one huge step towards finding that balance and peace in my life. I am beyond excited for the extra time I will have at home with Mason!!
So my resolution is not just to find balance in all aspects of my life, but to find contentment and fullfillment in the "half way" attitude. Here's to a year of working hard but not too hard, to getting healthy but still enjoying cake every now and then, to paying off debt but still taking that vacation, and to lots of adventures with Mason but still squeezing in the chores!
And here's everyone enjoying a drink or two tonight.....but not too many ;)
Love reading your blog posts! I too have always viewed it as a "character flaw" to not do something complete and 100%. With a baby, it just doesn't happen like that and I find myself not being happy with this reality...I have spent much of the past year bitter about the lack of time and energy for housekeeping, projects, and everything else I want to do or feel needs done because I have always done it before! I am going back to school now and each week it is so embarassing to me when it comes to my confidence on the subject matter and the assingments I have done. With Jonathan, I talk about not really wanting to do it at all if I am just going to embarass myself with a halfway assignment that I am not even happy with myself. I do know that I am going to have to mentally adjust the standards I hold myself to if I want to truely enjoy what is most important! If I cut something from my list, I want it to be because I make a decision that it is just not right for our family at this time...not because I am just not turning things out at the same standards I used to obtain and have become discouraged. I'll pray for you too in this new year as I work on it myself! ~Your Cousin
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