Sweet Moments

Have you ever thought to yourself, "How do moms do it? That just sounds awful".

I woke up to the sound of Mason crying, glanced at the clock because I had absolutely no idea how long I had been asleep. Its 3:30AM and I just put him down an hour ago, and I think to myself, "what is it now?" I slowly get up, put my slippers on, and rub my eyes as I walk into his room. I pick him up and realize he has spit up all over himself and his bedding. I get him naked, wash him off, put fresh pajamas on, change the blankets, and sit down to rock him back to sleep. Then I realize his nose is so stuffed he can barely breath, so I take a deep breath and go get the suction bulb. Anyone who has ever tried to suction a baby's nose realizes this is no fun task, especially at 3:30 in the morning. Despite the screaming and flailing of his arms, I get his nose cleared out. He takes one deep breath, and instantly falls asleep in my arms. I sit down in the glider thinking to myself, "I'll just rock him for 5 minutes to make sure he is sound asleep".

As I am sitting there, I can hear my husband and dogs sound asleep in the rooms next to me, and not another sound in the world except the slow deep breathing of Mason in my arms. I look at Mason and he is grinning from ear to ear while he is sleeping, and my heart is filled with complete joy. That is why millions of moms get out of bed at all hours of the night...not out of duty or obligation, but love. In that moment, as you see that sweet smile, you know he is completely content and you realize that you will always do whatever it takes to make your child's world perfect again.

Even though I look forward to the day that Mason starts sleeping through the night and I wake up feeling refreshed rather than exhausted, I will miss those sweet moments that can only happen in the quiet hours of the morning.

This tired mom is headed back to bed with a smile on her face.....

New Years Resolution

From Wikipedia:

In ancient Roman religion and mythology, Janus is the god of beginnings and transitions,^[1] thence also of gates, doors, doorways, endings and time. He is usually a two-faced god since he looks to the future and the past.

As the new year approached, I found myself reflecting on my past and pondering my future more than ever. Its mostly because I feel like "adulthood" crept up on me over night. Several little things have been showing me that I am no longer that young hip adult discovering my independence (yes, I still claim that I was at one point hip!). For example when I had to ask my sister's 19 year old boyfriend what smh stood for, he thought it was hilarious that I had no clue. Or when I moved desks at work and I needed help troubleshooting my computer, I called tech support and he was younger than me, by several years. Then it hit me, I am going to be 27, one year away from my 10 year high school reunion.....where have the last 10 years gone?!

In your 20s you are supposed to "find" yourself, so does that imply that you lose something along the way? I have always been a daughter, a sister, a friend, etc. But in my 20s I have added a couple titles...employee, co-worker, wife, daughter-in-law, homeowner, and now MOM. Holy cow, those 3 little letters are what made me realize, I'm not a kid anymore, I have to the be mom now!! While I was pregnant I kept hearing, "Your life will never be the same", "Get as much sleep as you can now because you won't sleep at all", "Enjoy time by yourself because you won't get any", "Being a mom is the hardest thing you will ever do".....then you add on everyone's horror labor and delivery stories, and you can't help but being a little intimidated.

I have now been a mom for 6 weeks and I LOVE it! Yes, its true, my life has changed, I don't get a lot of sleep or alone time, and it is one of the hardest things I have ever done. But it has brought me more joy and love than I could have ever imagined. It's so incredible being a mom, that it's easy to want to spend every second of your day with that precious baby. However, the truth is, I'm not ready to say goodbye to every part of who I was before, to completely close the book and start writing a new story. Rather, I want this to be a new chapter in my already existing life. So many people think you have to give up everything to be the perfect parent, and I don't agree with that. I am still a daughter, a wife, a friend....mom is not the only title that defines me. And to be a good mom, it's important not to lose the other sides of yourself.

As I thought about my New Years Resolution, I decided that since every December I say to myself, "where did this year go?", it would be good to start blogging about my life so I can take the time to not only look forward to the next year, but to remember the last year. When I think about who I want to be and what kind of mom I want to be, I have to remember who I was and who I am today. Chris and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary on New Years Eve. My mom babysat Mason while we enjoyed a nice sushi dinner and then game night with good friends. And I was thankful that even though so much has changed in our lives over these past 2 years, sitting at dinner with my husband and hanging out with friends felt like nothing had changed at all.